Ok so you’re probably wondering- What?!?
‘Emily what the eff are you talking about?’
Before I get into the deeper stuff let me back track a bit with a personal story.
So last year I had a pretty bizarre dating experience.
(For those of you who know me, you already know I’ve dated some very ‘interesting’ people. And the stories are starting to pile up and become increasingly more bizarre.
So why not share them with you all and see if the dating world really is this bizarre or if I keep catching frogs…)
So let’s go back in time.
Single girl (me) meets single boy (the no-kissing suspect).
We meet up for the first time and things go….ok….
A few things were kinda sketching me out so my guard was up pretty high. But as the night went on we had each other laughing and that moment came.
The ‘Holy Shit I Think We Are Going To Kiss For The First Time’ moment.
And as I leaned in, he nose-dived far awayyyyy.
He pretty much dodged me completely.
I was kinda confused. Did a little body language check. It seemed like he was into me…and I was into him…so what was the issue?
Before I let myself jump into a whirlwind of self-destructive thoughts I went in for the kiss again and landed.
Straight up felt like I was kissing a dead body so I stopped and backed away.
After I pulled my face away he immediately wiped his mouth with his hand with the most disgusted face.
He literally wiped away my kiss bruh.
Holy SHIIII. Goodbye confidence. Goodbye forever.
I immediately asked if everything was ok and he replied,
“I just don’t do kissing”.
DUDE WHAAAAAAT. There are guys out there that refuse to kiss now?!
What the eff is happening.
After he explained that kissing was off the table I was out of there.
Yes I need you to kiss me. Yes if you don’t kiss it’s a deal breaker.
I honestly could never imagine any shade of relationship where kissing was not an option.
I got to feel the mojo man! And that starts with a kiss.
I understand most guys might want to skip kissing and fast forward to the more ‘exciting’ parts but…
Kissing and making out is so important. It’s important in relationships. It’s important during foreplay. It’s unavoidable in my opinion.
I can’t believe I’m writing a post about the importance of kissing in the first place haha.
Still amazed I found a cute guy who refuses to kiss any woman he dates….what is the world coming to….
Anyways…. here is what I learned from this awkward experience.
(after laughing about its ridiculousness with my best friend the next day of course)
1) It Has Nothing To Do With You
I dearly hope this doesn’t happen to you sweet reader of mine but if it does please know:
It has absolutely nothing to do with you. Never question your attractiveness or self-worth. This is a habit that was formed long before you came around.
So never take it personally. It’s definitely a bit jarring at first haha but it’s never something that should haunt you or breed insecurity. You’re still you. Awesome, amazing, unique you. And no one has the power to change that without your consent.
2. Intimacy Issues
After doing a little research on this interesting subject and talking to a few sources- some guys may not like kissing because they have serious intimacy issues.
The act of kissing is extremely personal.
Some may view kissing as more intimate than sex itself.
Associating kissing with an ‘off-limits’ agenda could be connected to previous bad relationships.
It could also be an escape from vulnerability.
If he has trouble maintaining eye contact with you or even hugging – the fear of vulnerability could be a real trigger.
3. Just Not Into It
Some guys may just plain not like kissing.
Maybe its the effort. Maybe another person’s saliva grosses them out. Who knows at the end of the day.
If your partner just isn’t into it – and it’s beginning to bug you.
There is only one cringey solution: Talk it out.
You’re going to have to put your best foot forward and talk it out. Is this something that you need to be happy? Is it something they definitely don’t want to engage in?
Have the talk and determine what you need to be happy. If it’s something that can’t be sorted out then it’s time to move on.
Happy kissing darlings xxoo