10 Steps on How to Survive a Breakup
Break ups are the worst. There is no quick fix for these bad boys. Unfortunately it takes a lot of time to heal from a bad one. However there are simple steps you can take so you can pick yourself back up just a little bit quicker.
As much as I hate to admit it, I’ve been through a lot of break ups. And my most recent one was definitely the most painful. I found these steps to be SUPER helpful.
1. Cry Until You Can’t Cry Anymore
Before you do anything –> CRY. You really have to get all of those negative emotions out from the start. There is nothing wrong with crying and getting it all out. Watch a sad movie. Listen to some sad music. Write out all of your pain in a diary.
Anything you do to get those negative emotions out is super important. The simple act of crying can be a great way to get an emotional release – And believe or not can help relieve stress.
Keep those tissues close by and keep in mind, it will only get easier from here.
2. Eat All The Junk Food!
Before we jump into all the “Get in shape” talk – Treat yo self! There is nothing wrong with having a cheat day. Indulge in all the food you love. Have a little netflix & chill time with yummy appetizers or even a whole feast.
The trick is letting your taste buds run free, but make sure your cheat day doesn’t turn into a cheat year. You want to spoil yourself a little bit without complete self-sabotaging your figure.
I’m not much of a sweet person so my go to was pizza, mozzarella sticks, and a taquito or two. ( Basically ALL THE CHEESE!!)
3. Have a Day for Reflection
Once the dust settles a bit (I’d give it about a week), have a day of reflection. Spend a lazy Sunday in bed and devote some energy into you.
Make a list of things you want to accomplish that year. Make a goal to finish that book you never got a chance to read. Mark a few dates on the calendar for upcoming events.
The idea is to come up with things to look forward to in the future. Productive distractions to work towards while you’re still feeling the pain from your break up.
This is also a good time (only if you feel ready!) to think about your past relationship. Was it healthy? Why didn’t it work out? I’ve found that more times than not – breakups happen for a good reason. There is always a lesson to learn. There is always another person out there that is better suited for you. Keep that chin up boo.
4. Get in Shape
I know you’re probably rolling your eyes and jumping to the next step- BUT hear me out real quick. When I came out of my last relationship I quickly realized I was not even close to where I wanted to be physically.
I wasn’t taking care of my body and had definitely put on a few pounds. **This isn’t about losing a million pounds or looking like a stick figure.
Even if you are feeling super sad (and getting out of bed is the last thing you want to do) – moving your body will help. Start with baby steps. A brief bike ride. Or perhaps a 20 min yoga workout. Anything to get your body off the couch and get those smile boosting endorphins going, will definitely help ease the pain of a break up.
5. Hang Out with Friends
Hanging out with friends is one of the best things you can do after a break up. Go do something fun. Get your mind off of all your troubles. Instead of constantly creeping on his facebook, get brunch with your best buds.
Not only is it a perfect distraction, but it’s also a good way to get some things off your chest. I confide heavily in my friends especially in times of crisis.
It’s a great way to get an outside perspective on everything. I’ve gotten some of the best advice from my close friends, especially when it comes to guys.
6. Have an Innocent Rebound
Flirt with that guy at your favorite coffee shop. Have a lunch date with an old crush. Don’t hesitate the next time a cute guy asks for your number.
Innocent rebound = being aware that you’re single and it’s not the end of the world. Flirting is ok again!
By no means am I encouraging risky one night stands, but there’s nothing wrong with going out with a cute guy to gain back a little self esteem. However always be mindful of their feelings and intentions. You don’t want to hurt other people while you’re on the rebound train.
***Warning***: Do not, and I mean 100% DO NOT jump into another relationship! This is the worst thing you could do at this point. Your heart needs time to heal.
7. Go to Thailand
It was only a few weeks after my big breakup, I called one of my closest friends. We talked on the phone ALL NIGHT. I think it was at 7 AM we decided on a whim to both buy one way plane tickets to Thailand.
Best night owl decision ever! Completely sleep deprived. Completely spontaneous. No regrets.
If you’re going through a really bad break up, a vacation is definitely one of the many things you need!
With a planned trip ahead of you, it’s hard not to get excited and feel happy about your upcoming adventure.
8. Start Keeping a Diary
One of the most eye-opening things I’ve done post break up is keeping a diary. I don’t always have time to write in it everyday but when important things pop up, an entry is made.
I started keeping a diary the night after the initial break. I fleshed out everything I was feeling that night in my first entry. It’s been quite awhile since that first entry. So much has happened.
But it still blows my mind when I read that first entry when the break up was still fresh. I’ve grown so much since then. I’ve healed to the point where I don’t even remember feeling that toxic cocktail of emotions that night. It’s super valuable for me to have written proof of how far I’ve come – & realize life is only getting better.
9. Get a Tattoo
I loveeeee tattoos. I have 7 at this point but always seem to be dreaming of the next one.
If you’re not a tattoo person – get a haircut, create a new wardrobe, try out an edgier look.
Make some kind of a physical change that will give you a boost in confidence.
I’ve also found that uploading a brand new picture of yourself on FB / Instagram can also be a great way to proudly showcase the new you.
10. Move to NYC
I’ve always wanted to move to NYC. After my last break up I realized that I had literally put my dreams aside for someone else. I had completely lost myself and what I really wanted to do with my life.
Stop and think about what you really want out of life.
Whether it’s moving to another city, or going after the job of your dreams, start making plans towards these goals.
It’s easy to lose yourself when you’re head over heels for someone.
Place your focus on you & your life.
You don’t need someone else to make you happy. It’s important you find your inner happiness all by yourself.